Have I ever told y’all about my housekeeper, Esther? I don’t think I have. Through a random inquiry I submitted on Thumbtack late last year, I was led to this girl’s profile. She had many good reviews and I was desperate for help.
As you all know, my husband owns a business. Maybe you didn’t know that either? He’s a pretty special guy, a notable Cake Decorator in the United States, participated on Food Network twice and has a wonderful reputation of being one of the NICEST guys in this industry. He is insanely busy and barely has time to mow the lawn, let alone clean our house. And my body can’t do it anymore … which makes me a little nuts, because I am a neat FREAK. Just ask Esther. 😉
The first day I met Esther, we had an instant connection. Even though her heavy Cameroon accent was hard to understand at first … the way she carried herself, I knew this girl was a believer. I also knew she was special. She spouted off a pretty steep quote when assessing our home and I was very honest with her in what we could afford. Her friend quickly tried to wrap the meeting up, thinking it was not going to be a good fit … but Esther stopped her and said, “Sometimes, you know when it’s right. And this feels right.”
She gave us a wonderful deal and comes weekly to dust, sweep, mop, do laundry, change sheets … I mean, this girl is more the woman of the house than I am! 😉 Just kidding. She would never agree to that, but her efforts and presence in my life has not only saved my sanity … but it’s healed my broken heart on numerous occasions.
Esther is a single mom. She came to the United States with her boyfriend at the time, had her baby and it abruptly ended between them. She has no family, few friends and is desperately trying to pursue her American Dream all on her own. She has become a woman I deeply admire. Her strength, poise in seasons of struggle and UNRELENTING faith in God has picked me up and carried me so many times this year.
Yesterday, she saw it all over my face that I was defeated. She knows I blog and I told her I haven’t been able to write for two months. I told her my body is literally breaking down every week and a new issue arises almost weekly. I told her, how can I encourage people to have faith in a good God when I feel abandoned by Him?
And what this girl said to me next sent me to my knees. Literally.
“Miss Holly. You are like Job. And the devil is arguing with God over what he can do. God is allowing these things, but it is not His perfect plan for your life. And the devil never attacks this hard on people who aren’t made for something more … God will heal you! And He won’t let the devil win you!”
I couldn’t stop them. Sobs came from my hurting gut and I crumbled to the floor, hitting my broken knees. She laid her hands on me and prayed in her Native Language, then translating to English begging God to heal me. Claiming that He will.
It was one of those moments in my life I will never, ever forget. She picked me up off the floor and held me while I cried. She said,
“Miss Holly. You are strong. And God is not finished with you yet.”
Thinking back over this year, I can’t help but wonder where is He? What in the world is He doing? Does He care about my suffering, or will He just allow it to worsen with every passing day?
This is why I haven’t written, friends. I couldn’t find a reason to write. I’m sure you tire of my woes and tire of these stories of suffering … and I didn’t want you to tire of me. And I didn’t want to tell you I feel abandoned by God. And I don’t have a reason to write.
But here I am … telling you.
I am asking you to please pray for us. My health has only been one of the things that have sent this year into the Frys history books of being the WORST YEAR EVER…. lol. And we are fighting to keep our faith. To keep our sanity. To keep trying. We are both very, very tired.
And we are looking for a reason to be Ed and Holly … Fighters. Dreamers. Believers.
I’m asking that you pray specifically for my stomach. Without going into too much detail, things are not the same … in fact, drastically worse since the ruptured bladder surgery and every day is a horrible process of trying to keep my body healthy.
I’m also asking you to pray for my knees. Last night for the first time, I let my best friend really listen to what is going on. Edward knows they sound like velcro … but I don’t think anyone else realizes just how bad they are. The Doctors have told me to potentially correct them, may threaten my mobility … and I’m not in a place where I can agree to be in a wheelchair. Especially with no tailbone to sit on, which is why I am constantly sitting on my legs (hence the destroyed knees).
And finally, I am asking you to pray for my husband. Pray for his strength to endure this cross with me. Pray for his sanity to manage his business in a difficult, sometimes corrupt, industry. Pray that he keeps that selfless, sweet spirit about him … even though others try to bring him down. It’s hard to always be the nice guy, when the bad guys are constantly attacking you. But I don’t want their actions to change who he is … because he is BETTER than that.
Pray for us. We need a reason. I need a reason to write. He needs a reason to fight. We need a reason to sing.
God, give us a reason.
PS: Please enjoy this picture of the CUTEST DOGS EVER!!! 😉