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May 11, 2017

IN{courage}

Morning Light 3.0

I woke up this morning feeling insecure.  And exhausted.  The initiative I’ve given myself is to write daily … & do something I’ve never done before. Devotionals.

But anytime you take a step of faith & just obey God’s voice – you’re going to immediately be attacked.

And for me, it all started yesterday after my “morning light” post. I read what I wrote thinking, “This isn’t good enough, wait. Does it even make sense? In the moment it felt like it did, but now … UGH, I don’t know.”

I tortured myself & felt frustrated I would start such a huge endeavor, being so ill-prepared.  All professional bloggers will tell you to write 2-3 week’s worth of content before you launch, but that has never been the way I operate. I’ve always written on the fly, from my heart, however messy – ridiculous – & difficult the thoughts are … I’d write them in a very REAL moment. But professionals will tell you that’s exactly the wrong thing to do.

So I rolled over this morning feeling very inadequate. Who even wants this? Was it me so desperately wanting to pursue my dream, or was it Him? I just took a step of faith not really knowing where this journey will lead … & 3 days in, I’m already regretting it.

Climbing into the hot-tub, I decided to just give it a rest. Feed my own soul this morning. Researching other morning devotionals I saw this term: “In-Courage.”

What a clever play on words. Instantly, I loved it. But God had more for that term than I did. Racing thoughts of courage  began inside of me. So I opened this post asking Him to lead … & He did.

Moses.

When the God of Abraham saw Moses notice the burning bush & walk over … everything changed. History was in the making in that one tiny moment. {Exodus 3:4}

But when the same God gave him the initiative to return to Egypt to free his people from slavery, Moses answered: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh & that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” {Ex 3: 11-12} And the Lord’s simple response:

“I will be with you.”

Now … I can’t relate to such a profound calling. I certainly have never freed men from bondage or led them to a promised land. Not really.

But the same Angel of the Lord pressed into my heart this morning, reminding me that in a small way … I have.  Sharing the truth is never easy. I’m an open book & speak freely about the struggles in our life, but believe me – I’d rather not have to actually live it … if God had ever given me the choice, I’d probably also respond: “Who am I that I should carry such a load … responsibility … & fight for faith?”

What I think of when considering the Lord & the choices he puts before us …. I don’t think he ever chooses people he knows will actually say no. He chooses the ones who love him & who will yes, doubt their calling, feel insecure about their missions … but never say, “No. I won’t do it.”

He always knew Moses would, in the end, say yes. He always knew Moses would notice that burning bush not be consumed & believe in the God who made that happen.

He also knew I would grow up hearing his promises, reading brave stories of faith … & believe in the God who made that happen & can do it in me.

So while I still feel afraid … worried I’m not the right girl to do this, that I won’t have the right words … I believe in the God who can make it happen. I am just a vessel. I may not naturally possess the courage to take on such an endeavor, but I can rest IN the courage of something bigger than myself.  I can rest in his encouragement, strength & power.

He has already prepared the hearts that needed this story. I don’t have to worry about that … I just have to obey & believe in the God who’s making this happen.

So do you.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Wendy says

    May 11, 2017 at 6:17 PM

    “who even wants this?” well, I do. In fact, I’d go as far as to say I really need this! Your comitment to writing every morning makes me want to commit to reading it and then take it one step further, into my own daily devotionals. So, if possible, keep it up you’re doing God’s work! xx

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Hi there :), I’m Holly Frys. Social Worker by day & lifestyle blogger by night. This blog is created to be a fun, inviting & inspiring space for not only you, but me.
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