Morning Light 3.0

I woke up this morning feeling insecure.  And exhausted.  The initiative I’ve given myself is to write daily … & do something I’ve never done before. Devotionals.

But anytime you take a step of faith & just obey God’s voice – you’re going to immediately be attacked.

And for me, it all started yesterday after my “morning light” post. I read what I wrote thinking, “This isn’t good enough, wait. Does it even make sense? In the moment it felt like it did, but now … UGH, I don’t know.”

I tortured myself & felt frustrated I would start such a huge endeavor, being so ill-prepared.  All professional bloggers will tell you to write 2-3 week’s worth of content before you launch, but that has never been the way I operate. I’ve always written on the fly, from my heart, however messy – ridiculous – & difficult the thoughts are … I’d write them in a very REAL moment. But professionals will tell you that’s exactly the wrong thing to do.

So I rolled over this morning feeling very inadequate. Who even wants this? Was it me so desperately wanting to pursue my dream, or was it Him? I just took a step of faith not really knowing where this journey will lead … & 3 days in, I’m already regretting it.

Climbing into the hot-tub, I decided to just give it a rest. Feed my own soul this morning. Researching other morning devotionals I saw this term: “In-Courage.”

What a clever play on words. Instantly, I loved it. But God had more for that term than I did. Racing thoughts of courage  began inside of me. So I opened this post asking Him to lead … & He did.

Moses.

When the God of Abraham saw Moses notice the burning bush & walk over … everything changed. History was in the making in that one tiny moment. {Exodus 3:4}

But when the same God gave him the initiative to return to Egypt to free his people from slavery, Moses answered: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh & that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” {Ex 3: 11-12} And the Lord’s simple response:

“I will be with you.”

Now … I can’t relate to such a profound calling. I certainly have never freed men from bondage or led them to a promised land. Not really.

But the same Angel of the Lord pressed into my heart this morning, reminding me that in a small way … I have.  Sharing the truth is never easy. I’m an open book & speak freely about the struggles in our life, but believe me – I’d rather not have to actually live it … if God had ever given me the choice, I’d probably also respond: “Who am I that I should carry such a load … responsibility … & fight for faith?”

What I think of when considering the Lord & the choices he puts before us …. I don’t think he ever chooses people he knows will actually say no. He chooses the ones who love him & who will yes, doubt their calling, feel insecure about their missions … but never say, “No. I won’t do it.”

He always knew Moses would, in the end, say yes. He always knew Moses would notice that burning bush not be consumed & believe in the God who made that happen.

He also knew I would grow up hearing his promises, reading brave stories of faith … & believe in the God who made that happen & can do it in me.

So while I still feel afraid … worried I’m not the right girl to do this, that I won’t have the right words … I believe in the God who can make it happen. I am just a vessel. I may not naturally possess the courage to take on such an endeavor, but I can rest IN the courage of something bigger than myself.  I can rest in his encouragement, strength & power.

He has already prepared the hearts that needed this story. I don’t have to worry about that … I just have to obey & believe in the God who’s making this happen.

So do you.